Dining Etiquette--When To Write, But Not Blog

This month, I had the worst fine dining experience of my life to date. The food that was edible was submediocre. The service was sloppy with hints of apathy. It was so bad, I went back again later that week, just to make sure I wasn't being punked. The second meal was worse than the first.

But you won't read details about it here.

I did spend some quality time reflecting on the experience, and typed up over nine pages recounting the the poor quality of the food, a long list of major points missed by the wait staff, and two or three "positive points" of which I had taken note (I'm a "silver lining" kind of person).

That little writing exercise was more about my venting than about reporting a dining experience, and it served its purpose. After writing it, I felt much better. But when I see writing of that type on a blog or a public comment site, I tend to discredit the writer rather than the restaurant. It is the written equivalent of a person making scene at a restaurant--yelling and carrying on because the soup wasn't hot, or the server forgot to bring more bread. The one making the scene like a child throwing a temper tantrum looks like the fool, even if everyone else in the restaurant noted that the soup wasn't hot.

Editorial of any kind fueled by rage with the intent to vent does not really serve anyone, although it may make the one venting feel better. Like the grown up throwing a temper tantrum in public, it is simply a breech of etiquette.

Instead of posting to the internet, I did what I know most restaurateurs would prefer: I contacted the restaurant directly, got the name of the manager, and drafted a letter to him with specific details of my experience for the purpose of providing a heaping dose of constructive criticism to him and his staff. I expressed my sincere hope that he would use the honest feedback to improve the service and the food. And I do sincerely hope they improve.

In a few months, I am very likely to return to the restaurant. And if I do, I will report my experience. If they have improved, I will be delighted. If they have not, I will have done my due diligence; my "shocked and appalled" will have subsided, and I will be able to recount (with emotion tempered by time and reason) for you, gentle reader, the broader scope of my dining experience with that particular establishment.

So please pause before you post about a poor dining experience and remember this: The food reader is NOT wanting to read about any one person's ire, but about the food. If one needs to vent angst, keep a journal, or call a friend, or spend some time on a couch talking to a trained professional. Anger is a valid emotional response, but the appropriate place for it is not necessarily the internet.